The Friend Test!

I have spent a couple of days contemplating the subject of my first ever blog post.  I wondered if it should tackle a major social issue or take to task a prominent public figure.  Then again maybe it should be about sports, at least the ones that I love to watch and participate in.  After all the Super Bowl was just yesterday.  But no, none of these topics would do for my maiden voyage into the sea of internet writing.  Do I dare write about myself.  Yes!  In fact I have decided my first post must be personal.  Maybe introspective or even a bit critical, but definitely personal.  So here goes.

 Are you a good friend?  I have always thought of myself in this light.  I pictured my friendships being mutually rewarding and beneficial.  I love my friends and in each one there are great qualities that enrich my existence.  I like to think they feel the same about me.  I am a nice person with a good sense of humor.  I am respectful and caring when around my friends.  I smile and return greetings and in many cases I will stop and chat for several minutes when I run into one of my friends out and about.  I do take care to pay attention to the surface level of my friendships, but does all this make me a good friend?

I can tell you after some soul-searching and looking back over my short life-span I have decided that overall I am just an average friend.  I can tell you that there have been certain circumstances of awesome friendship on my part.  I have pulled more than one guy out of a ‘bad’ situation and I have given any-time-of-day assistance to female friends with car trouble.  I’ve even picked up some friends whose car died and they couldn’t get away after they let the air out another person’s tires.  In some case I have been there for my friends.  My biggest problem with my ‘friend’ skills mostly comes to this.  I suck at sticking around.

I will give you an example.  I have two friends (who shall remain nameless) that I have allowed to slip away over the past five or so years.  These were my guys.  The three of us were inseparable for a good portion of ten or so years.  We went to church together, played ball together, fought together, lived together and worked together.  We were like brothers without the sibling rivalry.  We were even in each other’s weddings.  As Forrest Gump would say, we were like peas and carrots.  Then after we were all married we got separated geographically.  We no longer worked together or lived together or got to see each other much.  As the years have passed these two men have slowly slipped out of my life and today they might as well be complete strangers.  I have had a couple of phone conversations with them in the past year or two, but I haven’t seen these guys, my best friends, face to face for over three years!  I let this happen and it feels like crap.  I love these guys and yet I chose to neglect our friendship and for what? 

Well I would venture a guess that many of you deal with this same issue.  You see there is this little thing called life and it happens to all of us on a daily basis.  We get married, buy a house, have kids, get full-time jobs and suddenly five or so years have passed and we look around and things have changed.  Now don’t get me wrong, life is good.  I have the greatest family a man could ever ask for.  I have great friends that I love and have fun with, but what I am talking about is something more.  True, great friendships should last the test of time and life.  I would give anything to have these two guys in my life today.  We would be having some great times together and making lasting memories, but because of my lack of ’sticking around’ that is not how things are.

Well I have written almost seven-hundred words about my sucky friend skills and I am sure you’re saying to yourself, ‘please wrap this up lame-o’.  I will end with a promise.  No more drifting apart.  I will get better at sticking around and I will start today.  I will even try to get back in touch with my ‘brothers’, if for nothing else to help myself become a better friend.  Hopefully this will inspire you to do the same.

 God bless!